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If I am elected I would first take a long vacation. That's a promise. Then I would call off the War on Drugs. I promise to take time out from my busy golf schedule to issue from the White House, daily movie reviews. Also, as the Pot Party standard bearer, it is my goal to bring back the $10 ounce. I am also offerring for sale, copies of my book, film, hats, t-shirts and bumper stickers.You may also be interested in my religious philosophy.
If I were president the first thing I’d do is call off the War on Drugs. The War on Drugs is the black hole of the political universe sucking in all of our resources to fight a losing battle, the general concensus of which is that it can’t be won. I’d take the billions and billions of dolars spent fighting this war and the billions spent building new prisons and the billions and billions of dollars spent for the housing and feeding of prisoners and guards, and I’d take all that money and I’d provide free food, free housing, free education, free health care, and free drugs for every citizen of the United States of America.
Just as the inner cities were controlled by alcohol smuggling gangs in the 30’s, the present day inner cities are controlled by drug smuggling gangs. By eliminating the prohibition of alcohol we eliminated that gang problem. By eliminating the prohibition of drugs today, we can eliminate today's gang problem. Holland legalized drugs and the Dutch have taken the money and put it into education. As a result they have less drug addiction than any country in the world and less AIDS. I say, take the money away from the police, from the prisons, from the weapons manufacturers, and give it to the children. I am not for a drug free America, I am for free drugs in America.
There was a time when pot/reefer/boo/grass/ was available in lids/cans/bags/ for $10/oz. The police have successfully driven the price up to $5000/lb. If marijuana were legal and taxed by the government this would bring back the $10 oz. The taxes paid on marijuana could be earmarked for drug education. Marijuana should be in the produce department in your local supermarket and crack cocaine should be on the shelf next to the rat poison. I want to make it clear that I don’t want to sell ounces for $10, I want to buy them for $10.
Golf affords a splendid opportunity for observing oneself. One’s true character is revealed for all to see when one swings a club. Golf, like life, allows one to work on oneself in an effort to be better.
Other than that it has no redeeming characteristics and should be made illegal. In this country, golf has become the sport of the wealthy and exploits the underprivileged and poisons the land. It is difficult to be a politically correct golfer. Bill Murray said it best in Caddy Shack when he said, "Kill all the golfers."
I think our government should declare a War on Golf, and all of our resources and our armies should be on the lookout for golfers. They are easily recognized. They wear loud clothing and their faces are red.
“Independence Day” made me proud to be an American. We make the best computer generated movies in the world. When it comes to special effects, nobody can touch us. And explosions? Forget about it. The only way to top the fire and brimstone in movies these days would be to nuke the theatre and blow us out of our seats. And actors? We don’t need no stinking actors. Just get some pretty faces, dangle them from strings, take their picture and we can make them do anything . . . fly . . shoot . . mug . . save the planet.
The pretty faces in this film are the fresh prince of Belair, Will Smith, Jurassic Park scientist, Jeff Goldblum and rising star Bill Pullman. They fly, shoot, mug and . . well, I don’t want to ruin the movie for you by telling you the ending..
There is a trend of late of making theme parks out of movies, i.e. Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park”, Universal Studio’s “Jaws”. “Independence Day” is a perfect candidate for a theme park. You pay your money, then take the ride of your life on a “Star Wars” type spacecraft darting and diving all over the place and firing video laser guns and blowing up alien ships right and left. A fun ride.
Written and directed by Roland Emmerich (Stargate), “Independence Day’s” story is simplistic but effectively told. The result is a pretty entertaining movie. I think the message of this film is that it’s a good thing this planet has America to lead the way in its defense. Yup . . it makes me proud.
Boy, has John Travolta’s career been rejuvenated since his fine portrayal of a bloated, junkie hit man in “Pulp Fiction”. In “Phenomenon”, he is charming in an unassuming, aw shucks, down home sort of way and carries this film a Long way until it ultimately deteriorates into a drawn out, sappy, boring tedium. Kyra Sedwick, Forest Whitaker and Robert Duvall also star in this fun fantasy directed by Jon Turtletaub. The first three-quarters of “Phenomenon” is well worth seeing, then go get some popcorn, have a smoke, whatever.
It looks like Eddie Murphy has another box office smasheroo after a long dry spell. Twelve year olds all over the country are cracking up at all the flatulence in this revamped version of Jerry Lewis’ “The Nutty Professor”. Eddie’s characterizations in multiple roles are uncannily brilliant and overcome the failings of a trite, cliched, formula script. It’s funny. I give it a six which is pretty good.